The contestant that will never be.

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Two weeks ago I received a very amusing email from a friend of mine.

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That’s not too easy to read is it? It said

Hello lady, hope you’re well!

 Apologies for the email out of the blue, hope you’re well. Mel has gotten me into watching the Great British Bake Off and led me to decide you should go on it for 3 reasons:

 1)      You’re very good at baking

2)      You’d be entertaining talking to Mel and Sue

3)      Your surname can be found in cakes.

 Blame Mel for this idea.

As flattered and thrilled I was to receive this email, that there are actual humans who like my baking, I will present several reasons now why I could never enter such a competition.

1)    The time delay button that bleeps all the swearing being broadcast would break.

2)   I would get annoyed with Paul Hollywood constantly which may or may not result in a fight.

3)   I would probably kick at least one cake across the tent.

4)   I would be an angry, stressy elf.

5)   I’m not an overly patient person, I would liken it more to George Costanza’s dad entering, dancing.

6)   Try as hard as I can, I can not make a macaroon.

7)    I can not make any super fancy decorations, I can not ice a cake or biscuit with any sort of precision.

8)    I’ve never even attempted a pastry.

It probably would be entertaining though.

Short and sweet today.

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